December 2011
166 posts
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wvnderbar:
i think glee ruined the word glee for me
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My friends have real issues...
poptartslutzz:
i never keep my new years resolutions so this year i want to do something i know i can follow through on
“eat ice cream sandwiches while looking at the facebook profiles of people i went to middle school with”
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When my skinny friend says i need to go on a diet...
Click here if you’re awkward!
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hotstimulus:
a vibrator is seriously the worst thing you could ever forget to not pack when you’re going places on christmas break.
there’s a lot of double negatives but i think i understand
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I hope this is a joke →
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It must suck living from paycheck to paycheck…your father’s paycheck, that is.
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“damn yous a sexy bitch”
– akon trying to describe a girl without being disrespectful (via wvnderbar)
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“You can’t brace yourself for famine if you’ve never known hunger; it...”
– David Sedaris
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“Were America’s safety in my hands, we would all be wearing burlap sacks,...”
– David Sedaris
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“Vegetarians look at pork roast thinking about the animal. I’d now look at...”
– David Sedaris
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The Gay Agenda
stormerki:
wakagucci:
turn all kids gay
destroy american values
have sex with every soldier
give AIDS to everyone
destroy America
go shopping
you know, just an ordinary day over here at the gay HQ.
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wvnderbar:
i’m not a racist i had a black friend
i had a black friend until she stole my stuff.
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Watching Wife Swap. Bringing back memories from my childhood; that and Fear Factor were my after-school activities.
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wvnderbar:
i had never heard of jon and kate plus eight until my friend told me about it a few years ago. except i thought she was saying “jon and kate pulsate” and it really made me wonder why people would watch it. now that i know the actual name of the show and what it was about, i still wonder why people watched it.
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Kelly: You can't go around pretending to be Jesus. What's God going to say?
Marnie: You haven't even got a beard!
Elliot: Hey! I gave my life to Him. I went without money and sex. What a joke! I preached and prayed, and no-one gave a shit. You do a few miracles, everyone thinks you're the messiah. Have you seen that lot out there? I've given their lives... meaning.
Nathan: I'm sorry. Would you mind getting her to stop? That's very distracting.
Curtis: One of your followers killed my girlfriend.
Simon: You're exploiting the vulnerable.
Kelly: You're taking money of people.
Alisha: Intentionally assaulting girls.
Elliot: Hey, that's the Catholic Church for you.
Nathan: Hey, he's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland, if the priests weren't fiddling with you, you were one of the ugly kids.
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Confession Sunday: my Christmas just got a little better.
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accio-agr0n:
“You couldn’t make me feel all right if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer.” Ah, I love Skins.
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nativityscenegirl:
maybe sims talk about ridiculously dirty and sexual things but we’ll never know because the only part of their conversations we see is a toilet with a no sign through it
speaking of which, sims 2 arrived today and i’m psyched.
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nativityscenegirl:
i think i just heard you say “thats so gay”
there are some other things you could say
retarded
jewy
abortiontastic
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*Helping my mother wrap presents. My mom looks at one I just wrapped*
Mom: This one’s from Santa.
Amy: Well I guess Santa had some special ed people help wrap presents.
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Sometimes I wonder why I can’t lose weight and I look in my hand and see I’m holding vanilla wafers with whipped cream on top.
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I’ll equate this to “notes” on facebook and assume no one gives a shit, but I’m bored.
5 favorite shows in no particular order:
1. Dexter
2. Skins
3. Misfits
4. Weeds
5. Modern Family
1. Who is your favorite character in 2?
Effy
2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?
Quinn (luckily, I think they’re getting rid of him).
3. What is your favorite...
